i have new friends. eventhough i have it in a distance. i have made new friends. its funny how’s my life here. maybe because i too much kept my mouth shut. i just keep message everyone i know so well, everyone i know well enough, everyone i know quite so well, and even everyone i don’t know well enough. i message friends that used to close to me, that used to close enough to me, that pretty close to me, and even i dont know them as well. in a loneliness i search for the crowd and in the crowd i’m looking for my time.
life is weird, isn’t it?
either so friends and people, others and human being, this world and universe. sometime i feel that i’m the one who doesn’t change. i don’t aging. i am standing still. i am what i was yesterday, two days before, a month before, years before. or.. am i just moving slower than everyone?
sometimes i am too complicated. sometimes i am simple as simple as black and white. what does make me complicated, nothing else but my mind itself. it is dwelling and dancing by itself. though i try put some control on it, its just going nuts and flying over to every corner of my very own memory. release some bad memories that have tears, release few joy memories that make me smile right away by myself. sometimes i feel that i trap in those memory, but.. what else do i have left? even effort can’t get me out, or.. its just me that don’t effort enough?
do i being carried away with my past or am i the one who loves his very own memory. even more, do my life worth for me.. do my life worth for my memories..
