life.sax

what is this life about. choices. fun. friends. people. love. lust. desire. sex. power. treasure.
some people believe life is about choices. your decissions today affect your very next day and your decissions today affected by your decissions yesterday, and so on. it is just like a binary tree without starting point and end. and when you realize, your life would be about choices, choices, and choices.
i know, it is important that u have to choose when decision need to be made. but, the most important is, how do you live your choice. so just dont too carry away with the choices.

jam 3/4 pagi di hari sabtu.
udah 3/4 hari gw tidur pagi dalam minggu ini. dan udah 3/4 hari juga gw nungguin aplikasi dicompile (buat yang gak tau compile, langsung ditanyakan saja kepada yang tahu). dan gw juga udah kehilangan semangat kerja gw kira-kira 3/4 dari semula. ada apa dengan 3/4? gw sendiri lebih prefer angka 3 karena kedengerannya pas, tidak terlalu banyak, dan tidak kekurangan juga.
cukup dengan angka-angka sekarang. udah maksa dan jayus juga itu.
1 bulan menuju konser linkin park di tennis indoor stadium.
2 kali gw gonta-ganti keputusan tentang keinginan gw buat beli kamera slr, yang akhirnya hampir kesampean juga.
udah 3 hari sejak temen gw ulang tahun, dan gw lupa kirim sms ke dia, semoga kagak marah deh.
sekarang udah jam 4 lewat dan gw masih blom bisa tidur juga, padahal kepala gw udah mulai kerasa berat.
5 koma tiga juta harga kamera slr yang mau gw beli hari senin depan.
dan katanya perlu ongkos kirim 6 puluh rebu buat kirim ke tempat gw di surabaya.
walau banyak yang gak se-7 gw beli kamera segitu mahalnya, karena takut nantinya kagak dipake juga.
di perusahaan tempat gw kerja sekarang, ada 8 orang karyawan termasuk gw yang masih bertahan.
padahal tadinya ada 9 orang.
kayaknya penuh dengan angka post gw kali ini. tapi memang kita gak akan lepas dari angka kan? apalagi angka yang ada di slip gaji dan buku tabungan. hahaha.. have a nice day.

i have new friends. eventhough i have it in a distance. i have made new friends. its funny how’s my life here. maybe because i too much kept my mouth shut. i just keep message everyone i know so well, everyone i know well enough, everyone i know quite so well, and even everyone i don’t know well enough. i message friends that used to close to me, that used to close enough to me, that pretty close to me, and even i dont know them as well. in a loneliness i search for the crowd and in the crowd i’m looking for my time.
life is weird, isn’t it?
either so friends and people, others and human being, this world and universe. sometime i feel that i’m the one who doesn’t change. i don’t aging. i am standing still. i am what i was yesterday, two days before, a month before, years before. or.. am i just moving slower than everyone?

sometimes i am too complicated. sometimes i am simple as simple as black and white. what does make me complicated, nothing else but my mind itself. it is dwelling and dancing by itself. though i try put some control on it, its just going nuts and flying over to every corner of my very own memory. release some bad memories that have tears, release few joy memories that make me smile right away by myself. sometimes i feel that i trap in those memory, but.. what else do i have left? even effort can’t get me out, or.. its just me that don’t effort enough?
do i being carried away with my past or am i the one who loves his very own memory. even more, do my life worth for me.. do my life worth for my memories..

"Lives are like rivers.. eventually they go where they must .. not where we want them to"

this quote i’ve got from a miniseries, titled "Empire Falls". its a very interesting move for me.. kind of a novel’s story, good settings, and also great actors and actress.. i’ve watched it three times already, and never been bored.. yet..
rating 8,5/10